Story Time: How One Conversation Changed Everything

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Our Story Time series brings you real, personal examples from business life that shed light on specific ways to lead with trust. Our last story told a tale of risky business. Today’s anecdote zeroes in on the importance of being willing to interrupt the status quo.

A New Anthology

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our new book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 2011), contains a multitude of stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on shifting from tactics to strategy. It demonstrates how simple it can be to dramatically alter the nature of a working relationship, and pave the way for delivering far greater value.

From the Front Lines: Upping the Ante

Sarah Agan tells us about the conversation that changed everything with her client, John.

“I had just joined a new consulting firm and was asked to take over as the engagement manager for a project that I soon learned was in dire straits. My client John was happy—he was responsible for a high-priority government-wide initiative with the potential to catapult his career, he had a high-end strategy firm by his side (that was us), and he was getting everything he thought he wanted—a well-documented plan identifying key investments required to guard against terrorist attacks.

“The problem was this: my team was very unhappy. Imagine a group of super-bright, creative, energized young graduates, well-trained in strategy development and execution, assigned to a high-visibility project, sitting in a windowless conference room formatting Excel spreadsheets. It was a troubled project that everyone in my firm had heard about and no one wanted to work on.

“While it was tempting to step in and make a dramatic move, I bided my time. I focused first on developing my relationship with John, understanding his interests and priorities. In several of our initial meetings he made reference to our team as his ‘administrative support.’ At first, I just filed it away. He was happy with the arrangement. He had no idea what he could or should expect from us.

“I also made a point to find out more about how our company had ended up in this predicament. We had fallen into the trap of being seduced by a lucrative long-term contract, doing whatever it took to keep the funding coming.

“One day when John referred to us again as his ‘administrative support,’ I decided it was time to speak up.

“I don’t recall being particularly nervous at the time. I just spoke from the heart: ‘John, this is at least the third time I’ve heard you refer to us as your administrative support. If that’s what you truly feel you need, let us help you find someone who does this as a core competency at a fraction of what you are paying us. If you’re interested in doing things more strategically, I’d love to have that conversation.’

“From that moment, everything shifted. The nature of all our conversations changed. The team began to bring ideas to the table, like helping John host a national workshop—with representatives from across the government, academia, and private industry—so that John could engage all his stakeholders in a way that they would have some ownership for the nationwide plan. It was an extraordinary workshop John’s successor is still talking about years later.

“Now we were positioned to deliver the kind of value we were truly capable of. The project that no one wanted to be on became a project people wanted to be part of.

“The biggest lesson for me in all of this was the importance of being willing to interrupt the status quo and say what had been left unsaid for too long in order to focus on what really mattered to John. Looking back, it was a pretty risky move. It was also the right one. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

—Sarah Agan

What’s been left unsaid for too long in one of your relationships?

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Read more stories about trust:

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Many Trusted Advisor programs now offer CPE credits.  Please call Tracey DelCamp for more information at 856-981-5268–or drop us a note @ [email protected].

 

Killer Apps 2.1 – Voice to Text on Your Computer

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I wrote on my last post about how Siri on the iPhone was just the tip of the iceberg for speech-to-text software. Fine and good, but what about voice-2-text on your computer?

If you have a Mac running Lion OS X 10.7 Lion, you can see the future now. If you don’t, check this out anyway, you’ll see it soon enough.

Dragon Comes to the Utilities World

Dragon is the full-blown software product line of Nuance communications, pretty much the industry leader in voice to text. It’s powerful stuff, somewhat expensive, and getting better all the time.

But now there’s a new kid on the block: a utility version of Dragon, called Dragon Express.  Simplified, to be sure, but available instantly at a keystroke. Click – start talking.

But it’s easier to show than to talk about.  Check out the short video I did below.

Dragon Express Demo

As I said before, voice to text represents a quantum leap in the efficiency of communications, the likes of which we haven’t seen in some time.  It’s just getting started, and will be exciting to watch develop.

Building Blocks of Trust

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My oldest son, a cabinet-maker, custom designed and built a cabinet for a customer, who is a contractor and also refers work to him. The customer gave guidance on the specifications. They agreed on a price and within a couple of weeks the item was built and delivered. Then came what often happens with construction.  The customer wasn’t happy. Discussions began.

Things Happen

In this case, drawers designed to open and close with specified slides were noisier than the customer wanted. He asked my son to install different (and more costly) slides to reduce the noise. My son thought the customer had specified this design and that the drawers were quiet already. So, he did not think any change was needed.

Has this ever happened to you? Think about fee disputes, for example.  Here are approaches some people take:

  • Ignore the issue, and let the relationship lag (“I don’t want to deal with it”)
  • Get angry and self-righteous (“It’s his fault, not mine”)
  • Give in, and make concessions (“I’ll just give him what he wants”)

Trust Principles in Action

My son agonized for more than a week over what to do. He did not want to spend the time or money replacing the slides because he thought he had done everything right.  Yet, he valued his relationship with the customer.

While he appeared to ignore the issue for a short time, he opted for a different approach, which looked a lot like applying the Trust Principles.

My son then suggested a way to compromise, sharing responsibility for the costs and time involved in fixing the problem.  After a brief discussion, they reached a resolution.

How many times do we choose to ignore, get angry or give in, rather than face the issue head on, using a principled approach? Which works better?

Is Trustworthiness a Moral Value?

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Every day, I’m a little blessed by the interest and thoughtfulness of our readers. Here’s an excerpted email I received this week that got me thinking.

The Email

Dear Charlie,

I took your free Trust Quotient (TQ) assessment. As I read it, the survey is presented as an evaluation of individual trustworthiness based on, among other things, credentials and one’s certitude in advancing a position based on one’s special knowledge.

To me, that’s not a measure of trustworthiness, but of perceived self-worth as measured by credentials and salesmanship.

I think of trustworthiness as a moral value.  I sense the value being measured in this test is not trustworthiness per se, but how deeply we identify with the importance of expertise and credentials, and how well we convince others of our personal trustworthiness by those same tokens.

Reader X

My Response (partial)

Dear Reader X,

Thanks so much for taking the time to express your thoughts. I suspect you and I are in complete agreement about trustworthiness as a moral virtue.

However, I think you misunderstand the TQ in a couple of ways―regarding the use of the quiz and regarding the idea of credibility.

Trusting the TQ

The TQ is first and foremost a self-assessment. If the results were used by third parties, for example for hiring or aptitude testing, it would render them useless, because it’s simple to skew the answers so that others would see it in a way the test-taker wanted to be seen.

However, if no one else sees it, then test-takers would only be fooling themselves and destroying a chance to build self-awareness.

Salesmanship Does Not Drive Trust

You suggest that the TQ assessment is “not a measure of trustworthiness, but of perceived self-worth as measured by credentials and salesmanship.”

A look at any recent survey shows trust has gone down. I suspect you might agree, however, that what passes for “salesmanship” has probably gone up. That, I suggest, is prima facie evidence that people perfectly well know the difference.

Does excessive “salesmanship” drive down trust? Of course it does.  You can see it in every factor of the Trust Equation, the theoretical model underlying the Trust Quotient.

When you run into a hustler or con artist:

with respect to Credibility―

    •     you don’t believe his words
    •     you don’t believe his sincerity
    •     you doubt his expertise and credentials

with respect to Reliability―

    •     you want to see outside verification: “Show me the CarFax!”
    •     you require legal contracts
    •     you examine track records

with respect to Intimacy―

    •     you hesitate to trust him with your private information
    •     you suspect his motives in trying to get close to you

with respect to Self-Orientation―

    •     you suspect he’s entirely in it for himself
    •     you see that when he pretends to be focused on you, he’s faking it.

Every part of the Trust Equation works in that case to show precisely how we do NOT trust such a person. This equation doesn’t suggest untrustworthy behavior—on the contrary, it provides the diagnostic tool to describe and identify such behavior.

Trustworthiness and Morals

I don’t think you can have morals without relationships. And just as the least trustworthy people are those who violate relationships by lying, bullying, and trying to hustle people for their own ends, so likewise are the most trustworthy people those who honor the Other in their relationships.

That means those who:

  • are honest about what they know and about what they don’t know
  • put their knowledge in service to the Other rather than to just looking good
  • can keep confidences
  • play in the long-run relationships game, not in the short-run transactions game.

Your comments fascinated and engaged me. I thank you for your passion, and hope you’ll forgive my reacting passionately as well.

Charlie

This particular reader chose to opt out after the free portion of the TQ because she felt it was contrary to her view of trustworthiness and morals. Too bad, because I think if anything, the opposite is probably true. As a result she missed out on the really cool stuff about the TQ:

  • The Trust Temperaments—the six psychological categories that describe how you go about being trusted
  • Most importantly, very practical, extensive suggestions about how you can improve your trustworthiness.

So let me ask the rest of you—how could we have written the free portion of the TQ test more attractively so that Reader X would have stuck around to find out the Good Stuff? Your suggestions are welcome.

Early Bird Pricing Now Available: The Being a Trusted Advisor May Workshop in London

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Alert! Approaching Deadline for Being a Trusted Advisor Workshop Early Registration.

The next Being a Trusted Advisor Workshop is scheduled for May 24-25, 2011 in London, England.

For our readers and fans in England, don’t miss this opportunity to see two dynamic presenters together for the first time, Julian Powe, Trusted Advisor Associate and accomplished teacher in the field of trust, and Charles H. Green, founder and CEO of Trusted Advisor Associates and best-selling author of The Trusted Advisor and Trust-Based Selling.

Take advantage of Early Bird Pricing for the Being a Trusted Advisor May Workshop which will be open to the public. This 1 1/2-day interactive workshop, based on Charles H. Green’s ground-breaking books The Trusted Advisor and Trust-Based Selling, has earned rave reviews. It is full of:

  • Tons of examples, anecdotes, stories
  • Out-of-the-box experiential learning led by top-level instructors who deal on the spot with your own live, real situations
  • Customized case studies combined with real-life cases: your own.

And because we know that it takes more than a seminar for learning to stick, we include built-in reinforcement. Think of this as a program, not a class, where you are offered the structure and support you need to put your new mindsets and skill sets into practice.

Seating is very limited. Don’t miss out on this unique combination that makes learning actually fun.

For details on how you can join us, click here.

Read more

The May Trust Matters Review

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Trust EquationCharles Ferguson, the Oscar Winning director of Inside Job discusses how funding for economists influences their research and contributes to economics problems. The pull quote, which I’ll leave for you to find, would be about how many times he found economists writing something that was against the interests of their funding sources.

Don Tennant speaks to John Hamm, a venture capitalist, about why there is widespread lack of trust for corporate leaders. Hamm acknowledges the problem, but I think he lets leaders off the hook a little too easily.

Vanessa Hall is bootstrapping an International Day of Trust. A great idea, and as a bonus, she has compiled a number of excellent links on trust. Head on through, and feast.

Ian Brodie has an excellent conversation of our favorite topic: how to actually become a trusted advisor. He identifies why many professionals have a hard time a hard time becoming a trusted advisor and runs through the steps to becoming one. If being a trusted advisor interests you at all, this one is a must read.

Chuck Csizmar asks why companies don’t post their grades and salaries ranges. He says he thinks we all know why, but I wonder if you can trust a company that won’t tell you that. What are they hiding?

Steven Davidoff writes about why reputation doesn’t matter on Wall Street, or in the CEO office anymore. Drive a company into bankruptcy, lose your clients or shareholders money, and somehow there’s another job for you and the company keeps on chugging. If Reputation doesn’t matter, then does trust matter? And is that why ordinary people don’t trust their lords and masters? Or is it that the only people whose trust matters to those at the top is other people at the top?

Phil Terry weighs on in whether you can trust what customers tell you in surveys. Walmart found out, to the tune of 1.85 billion dollars lost, that the answer is “not always”. It’s not because the customers lied, mind you…

Kermit Pattison has a fascinating interview with design Professor David Kelley on leadership. It’s all about empathy to David, and, I think, if you read through the lines, really all about trusting the people he leads. The best article of the month.

The Trust Matters Review highlights the best articles and posts on trust our research has turned up in the last month.

If you’d like to share a great article about trust, let us know, in the comments here.

For more links to outstanding articles on trust, see:

Upcoming Events and Appearances: Trusted Advisor Associates

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Join us at one or more upcoming Trusted Advisor Associates events. This Spring, we’ll be hosting and participating in events in Cambridge, MA; Boston, MA; London, England; Washington DC and through globally accessed webinars.

Also, a word about the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program.

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Fri. May 6th Cambridge, MA Charles H. Green

Charlie Green will be a panelist at the Sloan Sales Conference, today, at MIT.

 

Wed. May 18th Boston, MA Stewart Hirsch

Stewart Hirsch will be a guest lecturer at Emerson College, speaking on “Becoming a Trusted Advisor.” The class to which Stewart will be addressing is a part of a professional services marketing course taught by Prof. Silvia Hodges, Ph.D.

 

Tues. & Wed. May 24th-25th London, England Julian Powe & Charles H. Green

In a highly interactive, practical and lively day-and-a-half program, TAA will be offering the opportunity to accelerate your professional growth, identify and strengthen the outstanding practice you already have, and address areas for improvement. This is the first time these two extraordinary presenters have offered this program together! Our early-booking price for the program will be $2200, with discounts available for group participation. For more information or to register contact Julian Powe or Tracey Del Camp, respectively.

 

Wed. July 20th Washington, DC Andrea P. Howe
(Rescheduled) Andrea will be speaking at the Washington DC Chapter of the Project Management Institute (Reston Luncheon) on “Trust and Influence: What Every Successful Project Manager Needs to Know.” 11:30am. Registration information to be announced soon. PDUs will be available for Project Management Professionals (PMPs).

 

Wed. Aug. 24th Washington, DC Andrea Howe
Andrea will be speaking at the Washington DC Chapter of the Project Management Institute (Washington Circle Luncheon) on “Trust and Influence: What Every Successful Project Manager Needs to Know.” 2101 L Street NW, Suite 200, Washington, DC. 11:30am. Registration information to be announced soon. PDUs will be available for Project Management Professionals (PMPs).

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The first tranche of the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program has completed the 19 modules in the program, individual coaching calls and its third group call, and the members have agreed to keep up lively discussions on the online Forum. Here’s what one participant has to say about the program:

“The Trusted Advisor Mastery Program delivered professional and personal results beyond expectations. The first coaching call was worth the whole price of admission.” (Virginia Sambuco, Sr. Director Marketing Services, Enterprise Solutions, Harland Clarke, San Antonio, TX)

To be notified of the next available program, email us at: [email protected].

Valuable Content Award Winners Announced

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One of the hot issues on the web these days (along with curation and inbound marketing) is content. Actually, other than a short period where portals ruled the headlines, I’m not sure if “content” ever really went out of vogue.

In any case, friend across the pond Sonja Jefferson runs Valuable Content. They do website development—but with an avowed focus on content. As they put it, they develop “websites rich with content customers appreciate that consistently generate qualified leads.”

Which, come to think of it, also has to do with curation and inbound marketing.

Anyway, they have recently initiated the Valuable Content Awards; here are this month’s five winners:

The Payroll Services Centre—yes, payroll services. At Payroll-Services-Center.co.uk

Bryony Thomas, a marketing consultant, at http://www.bryonythomas.com/

Heather Townsend, an all-things-networking business at JoinedUpNetworking.com

Formicio, an IT transformation and innovation consultancy, at www.Formicio.com

Oh yeah and a little business called Trusted Advisor Associates got one too. We are grateful.

Thanks to Sonja (@sonjajefferson) and Sharon (@sjtanton), Mick and Eli for doing the heavy lifting to put the awards program together. Good content deserves recognition.

 

 

Lessons in Leadership and the Three Umpires

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This is one of my all-time favorite stories. Three umpires (baseball, for our international readers) were talking about how they make calls on each pitch.

The first umpire said: “There’s balls and there’s strikes, and I call them like they is.”

Umpire number two said: “No, there’s balls and there’s strikes, and I call ’em like I see ’em.”

But it’s umpire number three that I like. He said: “There’s balls and there’s strikes, but they ain’t nothin’ until I call them.”

The Third Ump

What sets umpire number three apart? First, he understands that distinguishing a strike from a ball is fundamentally a judgment call. Television’s K-zone aside, it’s his job as the umpire to set a strike zone, to watch the pitches and declare where each pitch sails: inside, outside, high, low, or right down Broadway.

Second, he knows the integrity of the game depends on his certainty in his calls. The pitches really aren’t anything until he makes his pronouncement, and he has the courage of his convictions.

Lessons in Leadership

And how does the third umpire tie into leadership? A good leader does the following:

  1. Knows that a lot of decisions are in fact judgment calls, and is willing and able to make them – command presence.
  2. Provides clear and concise direction.
  3. Demonstrates passion and yes, courage of her or his convictions.
  4. Sets a fair and consistent “strike zone” and applies that to everyone.

The third ump, or the good leader, isn’t arrogant, non-collaborative or deaf to others. The good leader is willing to take on the tough responsibility of setting priorities, being clear in direction and demonstrating the passion to get others believing in the vision.

PS: For a great real-life story of courage and leadership, read Mike Myatt’s great piece.

We Want Your Stories in Our Book: Enter the Trusted Advisor Fieldbook Story Contest

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As announced two weeks ago, we (Andrea P. Howe and Charles H. Green) are writing a book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, to be published by Wiley Books in November. True stories are a critical part of a practical book like that, and we’ve got a ton.

But we’re still short 3-5 stories: namely, the top 3-5 stories from you, the thoughtful and insightful readers of Trust Matters.

So we’re announcing a small contest–please send us Your Great Story about trust in business or organizations. See guidelines below.

If you’re in the Top 3-5, we’ll include your story (mentioning you as source, of course) in the book. In addition to Everlasting Fame, you’ll get a full set of all Charlie’s books, autographed, including the new Trusted Advisor Fieldbook (autographed by both Charlie and Andrea).

If we don’t choose your trust story as among the Top 3-5, we’ll still enter you in a drawing for a free copy of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook; we will give out one free book for every seven entrants. And even more still, submitted stories that do not get chosen for the book may still get published in the blog Trust Matters.

We realize those are not great extrinsic motivators; the main reason you’d contribute is to share your insights with others. We’d like to get you a great audience for your story that you might not otherwise receive.

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Guidelines for Entries:

1. Deadline for entries is 9PM EST, May 13, 2011

2. Send your story in any digital format to ahowe-at-trustedadvisor-dot-com

3. Your story should be no longer than 400 words.

4. The story should be about an experience that you personally had or witnessed–no re-hashes of previously published stories.

5. Subject matter: Any story reflecting an aspect of trust in business or organizational life. Settings could include sales, customer relationships, internal politics, recruiting, reputation–to name a few. Subjects could include trust and risk, trustworthiness, trusting and not trusting, the trust equation components, the process of trust creation, trust recovery–to name a few. For further examples, take a quick skim through back blogposts on Trust Matters, like here, and here, and here, and here, and here.

6. We may (probably will) further edit any stories you provide, but we will review those edits with you; we will only publish what you’re comfortable with.

You’ve been part of our blog for so long; now be part of our book.