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The Truth about Sales Rejection: It’s Not about You

Rejected Rubber StampAccording to a recent Braintrust study on B2B selling, only 33% of sales reps consistently hit their targets. Whether that data point reflects inaccurate goalsetting or a need for upskilling, that’s a lot of rejection.

Losing a sale is a challenge that sits squarely at the intersection of business revenue and personal psychology. While it may feel deeply personal, overcoming that loss requires a fundamental shift in perspective.

The Real Cost of Fearing Rejection

Sales professionals who shy away from rejection face a double penalty: missed opportunities and internal turmoil. Without taking risks, you’ll lose potential deals. More insidiously, playing it safe can create cognitive dissonance with your professional self-image, draining energy and focus that could be better spent serving clients.

Why Traditional Approaches Fall Short

Common strategies for handling rejection typically fall into three categories:

  1. The Numbers Game: This approach treats rejection as an inevitable statistic—just keep dialing until you win. However, reducing prospects to mere numbers undermines genuine relationship-building.
  2. The Emotional Block: This method advocates emotional detachment, suggesting you shouldn’t take rejection personally. Yet, denying the human element ignores the reality that sales interactions are inherently personal.
  3. The Power Through: This technique relies on motivation and enthusiasm to overcome rejection. Unfortunately, this often translates to aggressive tactics that may alienate potential clients.

The Narcissism Trap

These conventional approaches share a critical flaw: they frame rejection as something happening to you. This self-centered view mistakenly places the salesperson at the center of every interaction.

Think about it: When a prospect decides not to buy, are they really rejecting you, or are they simply making a business decision based on their needs and circumstances?

Curiosity: A Better Framework

Instead of “handling rejection,” reframe selling as a scavenger hunt. This mindset shift transforms the experience from a personal challenge into an engaging exploration. When you’re genuinely curious:

  • Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, not to lose
  • Dead ends provide valuable market intelligence that can inform other opportunities
  • The focus shifts from self to solutions

Practical Steps for the Curious Salesperson

  1. Develop a Prospect Question Bank: Create a list of genuine questions you’d like answered for each key prospect. Focus on understanding their business, challenges, and goals. Avoid asking questions you already know the answer to.
  2. Document Your Discoveries: Track what you learn from every interaction—even (especially) those that don’t lead to sales. These insights build your market knowledge and inform future approaches.
  3. Stay Present and Engaged: Rather than armoring yourself against potential rejection, remain open to what each interaction can teach you. When your goal is to understand the client rather than to close the deal, you win every time, regardless of whether you make the sale.

The Power of Perspective

Just as ancient astronomers had to abandon their earth-centric view of the universe, salespeople must let go of self-centric interpretations of client decisions. “Rejection” only exists when we position ourselves at the center of every sales interaction.

Success in sales comes not from learning to handle rejection, but from transcending the concept entirely. When you approach each interaction with genuine curiosity about how you might solve a prospect’s problems, the question of rejection becomes irrelevant.

Remember: No one can reject you without your participation in defining rejection. The next time you feel rejected, redirect that energy toward curiosity—you might be surprised at what you discover.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

Why Taking Risks Creates Trust

Due to several universal experiences and observations, everyone is familiar with taking risks, whether they engage in them or not. Even those who avoid taking risks are familiar with the concept because of the fear and caution they experience. This avoidance is a direct response to the perceived dangers of risk-taking.

Everyday life involves countless decisions that carry varying degrees of risk, from choosing what to eat to making career moves. Even seemingly mundane choices involve some level of risk assessment.

Many professional and personal development courses include risk management elements, ensuring that risk is understood and considered in various contexts.

That includes addressing common risk-taking challenges like:

  • Should you risk mentioning the price early on in a sales call?
  • Should you be candid about your less-than-perfect qualifications for a job?
  • When you notice the client looking distracted, should you take the risk of commenting on it?

In such situations, the thought process is, “That’s too risky. You can’t do that—you don’t have a trust relationship yet.” Or, “Well, sure, you could do that, but only when you have a long history of trust.” That is a big misconception.

The truth is, you can’t get trust without taking risks. It is the taking of risks itself that creates trust.

Early Risk-Taking Can Strengthen Relationships

Risk-taking is a fundamental aspect of human life, woven into the fabric of daily existence, cultural narratives, psychological experiences, and biological responses. Whether individuals actively take risks or choose to avoid them, the concept remains a familiar and integral part of their understanding of the world.

This is true in business, sales, finance, education, and personal endeavors. Taking small risks can build trust and credibility without being perceived as careless or unprofessional. However, trust only grows when one party takes a risk, and the other party responds in a trust-based way.

  • Should you risk mentioning the price early on in a sales call?  

You take the risk of answering a direct question about price, even though you haven’t established your value proposition yet. Being open about the price early demonstrates transparency, which can build trust. It shows that you are straightforward and not trying to hide any information. This approach is respectful and opens the door for an honest discussion about budget and value. It can help ensure that the rest of the conversation is productive and focused on how you can meet their needs within their budget.

  • Should you be candid about your less-than-perfect qualifications for a job?

You take the risk of being very open about a relative weakness in your job qualifications. This approach shows humility, a willingness to learn, and the ability to turn a potential weakness into a strength, which can be very appealing. Although the client may or may not give you the job, they’ll note your directness and trust you more.

  • When you notice the client looking distracted, should you take the risk of commenting on it?

The risk can be as easy as saying, “I noticed you seem a bit distracted today. Is everything alright? I want to make sure we address any concerns or thoughts you might have.” This approach is gentle and non-confrontational, showing that you are perceptive and considerate of their current state. It shows that you are willing to engage in honest and open communication, opening the door for them to share any issues they might be facing, which can strengthen the client relationship.

In each example, the small risk may or may not go your way, but if you avoid taking that risk, it’s guaranteed that you’ll not get the trust (unless your client initiates it, in which case you depend on someone else to make your luck).

Early risk-taking can strengthen relationships by demonstrating commitment and reliability. Strong relationships are vital in navigating more significant risks in the future.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

Building Client Trust During a Crisis

As the Novel Coronavirus pandemic disrupts business across the globe, companies are scrambling to  assess and mitigate the near-term impact to their business. One of our clients recently shared an email he sent to his team of client relationship partners, reminding them to take a trust-building approach: reach out with information, but foremost with humanity.

Dear [name],

Last week we sent some information to share with your clients regarding COVID19. In addition to the technical support information that we should be sharing, I want to reinforce the importance of communicating directly with our clients on a personal level as well. While it is natural, and even responsible, for us to see how we can support their business, now can be the defining moment to make personal connections and establish long-lasting trust.

While there will be immediate opportunities to help clients with risk assessments, supply chain optimisation, cost reduction and resource augmentation, etc., the objective of contacting them TODAY should be to see how COVID19 is affecting their job, but more importantly to simply see how they are doing personally. Some questions to consider:  

  • How is COVID19 impacting their day-to-day life?  
  • How is this impacting how they are making near-term business decisions?
  • How is this impacting their direct reports and completing short term projects?
  • What other pressures is this putting on them, both professionally and personally?
  • How is this impacting them and their family?

During our conference last June, Charlie Green talked to us about what we can do to become our client’s Trusted Advisors. If you recall the “Trust Equation”, two key elements to establish trustworthiness include increasing “intimacy” while lowering our own “self-orientation”. Taking the time to personally call your clients – and not profiteering during crisis – is a good step towards gaining their trust and will pay dividends in the future.

Now is the time to speak with your clients and talk to them as a person and not as a target/fee source.

 Kind regards,

 Scott

While Scott specifically highlights intimacy and self-orientation, two factors of trustworthiness found in the trust equation, this email is also an excellent illustration of the four trust principles in practice.

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

Does Trust Differ From Salesperson to Sales Management? (Episode 36) Trust Matters,The Podcast

Welcome to the newest episode of Trust Matters, The Podcast. Listeners submit their personal questions about professional relationships, trust, and business situations to our in-house expert Charles H. Green, CEO, Trusted Advisor Associates and co-author of The Trusted Advisor.

Dr. Peter Johnson, Clinical Professor of Marketing at Fordham’s Gabelli School of Business in New York. Dr. Johnson writes in to suggest we talk about the role of trust in a critical business transition –  from a salesperson to a sales manager.

Learn more about the basic tools of trust and professional relationships. Play the podcast episode above and register for our next webinar on February 25.

 

Professional Trust 101 (Episode 35) Trust Matters,The Podcast

Welcome to the newest episode of Trust Matters, The Podcast. Listeners submit their personal questions about professional relationships, trust, and business situations to our in-house expert Charles H. Green, CEO, Trusted Advisor Associates and co-author of The Trusted Advisor.

A sales manager from Florida writes us in regards to the podcast’s material, “Great podcast but I feel like I’m operating three levels down in a larger system. Is there a bigger way of looking at trust? Did I miss the session on Trust 101?”

Learn more about the basic tools of trust and professional relationships. Play the podcast episode above and register for our next webinar on February 25.

Do you want to send your questions to Charlie & Trust Matters, The Podcast?

We’ll answer almost ANY question about confusing, complicated or awkward business situations with clients, management, and colleagues.

Email: [email protected]

We post new episodes every other week.

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Move Qualified Sales Leads Down the Funnel by Bringing a Risky Gift (Episode 34) Trust Matters,The Podcast

Welcome to the newest episode of Trust Matters, The Podcast. Listeners submit their personal questions about professional relationships, trust, and business situations to our in-house expert Charles H. Green, CEO, Trusted Advisor Associates and co-author of The Trusted Advisor.

The owner of a small consulting firm writes in and says: “We’re getting great inquiries but, after the first phone call or meeting, we’re not converting them. We’ve got great credentials and I know we can do the work. I’d guess that we’re only moving about 25% of our good leads into serious contention. Have you got any ideas?”

To read more about this topic read a recent post:

Do you want to send your questions to Charlie & Trust Matters, The Podcast?

We’ll answer almost ANY question about confusing, complicated or awkward business situations with clients, management, and colleagues.

Email: [email protected]

We post new episodes every other week.

Subscribe to get the latest episodes:

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Google Play
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Trust Matters, The Podcast: Can I Trust Digital Marketing for Lead Generation? (Episode 26)

A Co-Founder of a small Management Consulting Firm asks, “We need to grow our sales funnel. Can we trust Digital Marketing and SEO for lead generation?”

For more on this subject read our blog post:

Do you want to send your questions to Charlie & Trust Matters, The Podcast?

We’ll answer almost ANY question about confusing, complicated or awkward business situations with clients, management, and colleagues.

Email: [email protected]

We’ll be posting new episodes every other Tuesday.
Subscribe to get the latest 
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Cutting Edge (Bad) Digital Marketing

Here are two (real) digital communications I recently received. What jumps out at you about the differences between the two?

The first:

Charles,

Not sure if you got a chance to read my last 2 emails but I still wanted to see if what we do is something that you could benefit from.

Also as you can probably tell, our business thrives off of referrals from people who understand and have experienced the value in our services. So if you know anyone who would be a good fit, we’d love to meet them!

Feel free to give me a call at xxx.xxx.xxxx or shoot me reply [sic].

Talk to you soon!

– [name]

 

The second:

Hi Charles H., thanks for connecting!

As retirement approaches, we’re faced with a lot of questions: How much longer will I need to work? Do I have enough saved for the retirement I want? How much should I set aside for my kids? It takes a team to find the answers that are right for you, and with over 36 years of experience in wealth management – and becoming a part of my clients’ families – I love being a member of that team.

My approach to wealth management is unique; it’s what earned me a spot on Barron’s ranking of America’s Top 1,200 Financial Advisors. A holistic look at your financial future can save you money and worry down the line. Your wealth encompasses a lifetime of hard work and efforts. Don’t you think in an ever more complex world it would be smart for you to get a second review of your life’s plan? Interested in learning more? Grab some time on my calendar:[calendly.com invitation]

All the best, [name, Senior Vice President Wealth Management – Portfolio Manager at one of the top 5 wealth management firms in the world]

——————

So – what’s the difference between the two?

In my opinion: basically nothing.

Yes, I know. The first one is garden variety email spam, enabled by zero-marginal-cost lists, that predictably hit my email ‘junk’ folder, with a bit of added annoyance (“not sure if you had a chance to read my previous two spam emails…”).

The second one came in response to my accepting a LinkedIn connection request.

Now, maybe you think there’s a huge difference between an unrequested spam email on the one hand, and the “opt-in” nature of a response to my acceptance of a LinkedIn request on the other. Maybe you think that the LinkedIn request was carefully tailored to fit a targeted segment which included me, and that therefore I’m far more likely to be interested in the pitch.

I’m not buying it. It’s all spam. Here’s why.

Targeting vs. Personalization

First of all, if you’re selling a B2C product with mass appeal that retails for under $50, and your brand name or reputation means nothing to you, then you can ignore the rest of this rant. I’m not going to argue with you, and maybe you’re right for your business.

But – if you’re a business dealing in products or services which are complex, expensive, have significant effects on the buyer, and which involve trust, reputation and branding – and you care about those things – then lean in.

The buying process for such categories is inescapably personal (with the decision to entrust one’s life savings among the most personal). The selling process ought, it seems to me, to respect and reflect the nature of that buying process.

And yet – no doubt influenced by the savvy digital marketers employed by that global wealth management firm – this Senior VP sees fit to send me the equivalent of a highway billboard. (Let’s not even dwell on the scraped name “Charles H.”; how many people go by first-name-middle-initial?)

Way back in the 90s, Don Peppers and Martha Rogers wrote about the promised future of marketing as enabling one-to-one relationships. Not “one-to-one targeting,” but “one-to-one relationships.”

The difference has been lost in the Googlified and ad-tech-drenched marketing world of 2019.

Go back and look over the banker’s message to me. It’s all about him and his bank – not a word about me. This focus on himself leads to more of a disconnect when he tells me he’s “becoming a part of my clients’ families.” (What’s next? Their ‘trusted advisor?’)

Customer Focus vs. Vulture Focus

Here’s the corner that digital marketers have painted themselves into. The more they are able to finely tune their targeted audience, the more we expect them to show us how that fine-tuning is relevant to us. And yet, they do the opposite: choosing to make the message all that more impersonal.

This banker found me on LinkedIn – a content-rich environment. How hard would it have been for him to say something – anything – about me, and how his service might be relevant to me?

  • Hi Charles, I see you’re an author, that’s really impressive.
  • Hi Charles, I see you run a small business; I’m guessing that maybe…
  • Hi Charles, I see you write a blog; I looked over a few of your posts, and…

How long would that take? 5-10 minutes? Run the numbers on the lifetime value of a client for a wealth manager, and you’re left asking – why did he settle for the equivalent of bluetooth-pinging me in the grocery aisle with a cents-off special on canned soup?

(I actually like to think that my erstwhile banker friend agrees with me for the most part – many private wealth managers have a good instinct for the personal – but that he lost an internal battle to the overwhelming force of the digital marketing ‘experts’).

Bad Digital Marketing

How has it come to this? How have the capabilities of digital been used by marketers solely to reduce cost-per-exposure, while ignoring the potential for enhanced effectiveness of human to human contact? Ironically, the less human contact there is, the more valuable the remaining contact becomes. Yet all this capability has been deployed in service to fine-tuning our targeting efforts – while doing nothing to enhance the relationship itself.

Instead, digital has dragged marketing back decades to where they forget another, even older, lesson – this one from the 60s and 70s. Features and testimonials don’t sell nearly as well as focus on consumer needs – which are personal. Which starts with some recognition that you’re dealing with a unique consumer.

As my friend and sales guru Dave Brock says, today’s marketers “are happy with a 0.1% response from 1000, not recognizing a 10% response from 50 is far better.” 

Better, that is, in terms of relationships; reputation; branding; and trust. If you don’t care about those things – if you’re running a digital pop-up store for pet rocks, or selling fabricated plastic toys from Vietnam, perhaps you don’t care.

But if you’re running one of the world’s largest private wealth management firms – or a consulting firm, or a B2B tech firm, or a global accounting firm – you should.

It’s no accident that the trust levels of tech firms are declining; corporate trust ultimately rides or fails on whether the firm’s people manage to create personal trust-based relationships. And the ethos of volume-over-relationships, zero marginal cost vs. total value, is destructive of that trust.

I can think of many reasons for how we got here, but that’s another blogpost. In the meantime – you don’t have to run your business this way.

Take the extra 5-10 minutes to focus on your customer; take a small risk; drop your focus on efficiency, and focus on relationship effectiveness. Do something to recognize that your business ultimately depends on relationships, not algorithms.

Don’t give in to bad digital marketing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trust Matters, The Podcast: How to Reengage Unresponsive Sales Leads(Episode 25)

A manager at a communications firm writes in and asks “How to you manage qualified sales leads that seem very interested but then go silent? Do you keep reaching out?  Do you try another approach?”

Do you want to send your questions to Charlie & Trust Matters, The Podcast?

We’ll answer almost ANY question about confusing, complicated or awkward business situations with clients, management, and colleagues.

Email: [email protected]

We’ll be posting new episodes every other Tuesday.
Subscribe to get the latest 
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Trust Matters, The Podcast: Asking a Client for a Rate Increase (Episode 24)

A solo consultant asks , “How do I ask a long-standing client, whom I already bill a lot monthly, for a rate increase?”

Do you want to send your questions to Charlie & Trust Matters, The Podcast?

We’ll answer almost ANY question about confusing, complicated or awkward business situations with clients, management, and colleagues.

Email: [email protected]

We’ll be posting new episodes every other Tuesday.
Subscribe to get the latest 
episodes