Trust-based Networking and the Paradox of “Collateral Benefit”

A (seemingly) simple question: What is the goal of business networking?

  • The goal of most business networking is to make new connections in order to get more business. 
  • The goal of trust-based networking is to help others develop their businesses.  The “collateral benefit” of trust-based networking is that others then help you.

When it comes to networking, injecting trust into the picture creates a sort of paradox. It’s exactly the same paradox that arises when we think about injecting trust into selling, or advice-giving, or getting people to review your books. 

That paradox was expressed well by Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, and a host of others: basically, the best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. 

It’s easy to forget how radical that proposition is; and how infrequently people actually do it. 

(This topic will be explored in much greater depth in our next free Trust Matters Webinar: Network Like a Trusted Advisor: Take the Work (and Stress) Out of  It on January 29th at 11AM EST)

(Meanwhile, you might want to check out our eBook The Do’s and Don’ts of Trust-based Networking)

 Current Networking Practice

Ask yourself: when you go to a meet-up, start looking through LinkedIn, or scan a rough lead list –  how do you proceed? Here’s what usually happens:

  • You search and scan in advance for those you’ve profiled as most likely to be prospects – focusing and prioritizing to narrow down a wide list of leads
  • You focus on honing your elevator pitch
  • During interaction, you focus on finding pain points (waiting to offer solutions at a later time).

If that roughly resembles what you do, then please take note: all three of those benign-sounding activities share one trait – they’re all about you. They are not activities that put Dale Carnegie’s insight into practice. 

Trust-based Networking

What if you were to try something entirely different? For example:

  • You search and scan for pairs of people both of whom you know, but who don’t know each other – and who could each benefit from the introduction
  • You focus not on your elevator pitch, but on a really great question you’d like to know the answer to (better yet, ask the question in the form of a Risky Gift)
  • You focus not on pain points, but on being genuinely curious and seeking perspectives. 

Those are very different activities: they’re not self-focused, they’re other-focused. And, they are more likely to result in relationships and in interesting conversations. It is those relationships and conversations that result in true connections of interest – and before very long, in leads and business development conversations.

The “collateral benefit” of behaving this way is – leads and sales. In fact, more leads and more sales than if you go in with the usual self-centered approach of trying to get leads and sales directly. 

But the paradox must be respected: if you engage in these other-focused activities as mere fig-leaf cover for your true goal of getting more sales – it won’t work. We all see through such base motives. You actually have to commit to the alternative goal – that of helping others.  

A good test of whether you’re really committed is your choice of metrics: do you measure the result of networking by how many entries you generate for your CRM system? Or instead – by tracking how you’ve been able to benefit your new acquaintances. (Hint: what would Dale say?)

 

Learn much more about this strategy at our next Trust Matters webinar: Network Like a Trusted Advisor: Take the Work (and Stress) Out of It, January 29th (11AM EST) delivered by my partner and co-author of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, Andrea Howe, together with Stewart Hirsch, our head of business development and leadership coaching (and CEO of his firm Strategic Relationships). Sign up for the (free) webinar here.

Why People Take Your Advice – Or Don’t: Webinar

Your client asks you for advice. You know the answer.

Further – let’s assume you’re absolutely right.

You give your client the answer.  And then – your client doesn’t take your advice.

What’s Up with That?

How is it that people come to take your advice? Or don’t?  How is that you take other people’s advice; or don’t?

Variations on the theme:

  • Why don’t my customers buy from me?
  • Why won’t my teenager do what I tell them to do?
  • Why doesn’t my spouse appreciate my well-intended suggestions?

If this interests you, join my webinar TODAY on

Why People Take Your Advice – Or Don’t

It is  TODAY, Wednesday August 8, at 11AM US East Coast Time

Major corporate clients pay me quite nicely to hear what I’ll share in this targeted webinar: you can get it for under $50, and I promise you it’ll be fun and entertaining as well.

The event is today, Wednesday August 8, at 11AM US EST.

I’ll talk about the drivers of trust, and how they relate to reciprocity and soft skills. I’ll tell you which gender and which profession is the most trustworthy, and why – and how that reason drives the influence triggers.

I’d love to see you there. Sign up quickly, the event is

TODAY, Wednesday August 8, at 11AM US EST.

Thank you.

Upcoming Events and Appearances: Trusted Advisor Associates

Join us at one or more upcoming Trusted Advisor Associates events.  This Fall, we’ll be hosting and participating in events in Baltimore, MD; Minneapolis, MN; and through globally accessed webinars.

Also, a word about the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program.

———————————————————————————————-

Wed. Nov. 2nd          Global            Charles H. Green & Andrea P. Howe

Charlie and Andrea will be interviewed by Jordan Kimmel, host of Trust Across America on VoiceAmerica, at 12:00pm EST. Visit here for information on tuning in, embedding and sharing the program.

Wed. Nov. 9th            Global            Charles H. Green

Charlie will guest-host on the Trust Across America show on VoiceAmerica at 12:00pm EST. Charlie’s guest will be trust expert Robert Porter Lynch and the subject will be trust and neurochemistry, leadership and innovation.

Thurs. Nov. 10th            Global            Stewart Hirsch

“Everything You Wanted to Know About the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program (but were afraid to ask).” When: November 10th, 2011; 2:00-2:45 PM EST.

Register for this FREE webinar and get an inside peek into our signature program, the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program. As our next group is forming in the Fall, this is a great opportunity for you to get to know the program and see if it is a good match for your needs. For more information on the webinar and to register, email Tracey Del Camp at: tdelcamp@trustedadvisor.com.

Wed. Nov. 16th          Baltimore, MD          Charles H. Green

Charlie will be keynoting and doing a book signing of his and Andrea Howe’s The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, on Day 2 of Entrequest’s 2-day sales seminar, “The eQ Sales Effect.” For more information visit, http://www.entrequest.com/the-eq-sales-effect/.

Fri. Nov. 18th        Minneapolis, MN         Charles H. Green
Charlie will keynote the Twin Cities Compensation Network Annual Luncheon.  He’ll speak on “Becoming a Trusted Business Advisor: the HR Challenges.”  Marriott Minneapolis West in St. Louis Park, MN.  Open to TCCN members and one guest.

———————————————————————————————–

The next Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is forming and registration is $3900/person.  This is the last chance to register for this program at this price before it increases for 2012. Please email Tracey Del Camp of your interest and she’ll be in touch with more specifics.

Here’s what a participant of the current program has to say:

The Trust Mastery Program is a great mix of online modules, background reading, exercises, group discussion and coaching–all of which reinforce the development of personal trustworthiness. I love the way the program is designed. I have been able to go through the material at my own pace, learn from the experiences of my cohorts on the online forum, assess my behavior and set short term doable goals.

—Tina Beranbaum (Principal, Centauric Consulting, La Jolla, CA/Toronto, Canada)

Upcoming Events and Appearances: Trusted Advisor Associates

Join us at one or more upcoming Trusted Advisor Associates events.  This Fall, we’ll be hosting and participating in events in Copenhagen, Denmark; Minneapolis, MN; and through globally accessed webinars.

Also, a word about the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program.

———————————————————————————————-

Wed. Oct 12th   Copenhagen, Denmark   Charlie Green

Charlie will be delivering a seminar with our new partner firm, Garde, in Copenhagen. He will be delivering a talk on “Trust and Business Relationships,” attendance by invitation. Contact Martin Hansen at Garde, Inc. for more information.

 

Thurs. Nov. 10th            Global            Stewart Hirsch

“Everything You Wanted to Know About the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program (but were afraid to ask).” When: November 10th, 2011; 2:00-2:45 PM EST.

Register for this FREE webinar and get an inside peek into our signature program, the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program. As our next group is forming in the Fall, this is a great opportunity for you to get to know the program and see if it is a good match for your needs. For more information on the webinar and to register, email Tracey Del Camp at: tdelcamp@trustedadvisor.com.

 

Fri. Nov. 18th        Minneapolis, MN            Charlie Green
Charlie will keynote the Twin Cities Compensation Network Annual Luncheon.  He’ll speak on “Becoming a Trusted Business Advisor: the HR Challenges.”  Marriott Minneapolis West in St. Louis Park, MN.  Open to TCCN members and one guest.

———————————————————————————————–

The next Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is forming and registration is $3900/person.  This is the last chance to register for this program at this price before it increases for 2012. Please email Tracey Del Camp of your interest and she’ll be in touch with more specifics.

Here’s what a participant of the current program has to say:

The Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is a gift that, if lived well, will impact all of my personal and professional relationships.

—Marianne Evans Mount, Ph.D. (President, Catholic Distance University; Hamilton, Virginia)

Upcoming Events and Appearances: Trusted Advisor Associates

Join us at one or more upcoming Trusted Advisor Associates events.  This Summer and Fall, we’ll be hosting and participating in events in Washington DC; Minneapolis, MN; and through globally accessed webinars.

Also, a word about the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program.

———————————————————————————————-

 

Wed. Aug. 24th         Washington, DC      Andrea Howe
Andrea will be speaking at the Washington DC Chapter of the Project Management Institute (Washington Circle Luncheon) on “Trust and Influence: What Every Successful Project Manager Needs to Know.” 2101 L Street NW, Suite 200, Washington, DC.  11:30am. To register or for more information, click here. PDUs will be available for Project Management Professionals (PMPs).

 

Thurs. Aug. 25th         Global         Sandy Styer
Leaders, coaches, consultants: Do you want to add new knowledge to your practice, and a new tool to your toolbox?  Through Trusted Advisor Associates is now offering TQ Assessment Authorization! You can become an expert in administering and working with our Trust Quotient Assessment – taken by over 15,000 people to date – and Trust 360™.  Thursday, August 25th at 1:00 PM EST, via webinar.  Contact Sandy Styer to learn more.

 

Fri. Nov. 18th        Minneapolis, MN            Charlie Green
Charlie will keynote the Twin Cities Compensation Network Annual Luncheon.  He’ll speak on “Becoming a Trusted Business Advisor: the HR Challenges.”  Marriott Minneapolis West in St. Louis Park, MN.  Open to TCCN members and one guest.

———————————————————————————————–

The Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is in its second month.  This 90 day program includes 19 e-learning modules, 4 one-on-one coaching calls, 4 group coaching calls, a lively interactive discussion forum readings, tips and exercises.

Here’s what one participant has to say about the Program so far:

 

“The Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is a fantastic tool that recognizes the importance of building “trust relationships” in business, (in my case, the legal business).  The program is helping me improve my relationship-building and ask better, more open-ended  questions when I meet with clients and prospective clients.  The online videos, background articles and exercises are great, as is the coaching. I also have really enjoyed learning from the other professionals in the program; they’ve offered very helpful insights through the Discussion Forum and our group conference calls.”

—Stephen Riddell (Managing Partner of the Atlanta Office, Troutman Sanders LLP [AmLaw 100 Firm], Atlanta, Georgia)

For more information on the next available program, email us at: mastery@trustedavisor.com.

Upcoming Events and Appearances: Trusted Advisor Associates

Join us at one or more upcoming Trusted Advisor Associates events. This Summer, we’ll be hosting and participating in events in Washington DC and through globally accessed webinars.

And a word about the Trusted Advisor Mastery Program.

———————————————————————————————-

Wed. July 20th Washington, DC Andrea Howe
(Rescheduled) Andrea will be speaking at the Washington DC Chapter of the Project Management Institute (Reston Luncheon) on “Trust and Influence: What Every Successful Project Manager Needs to Know.” 11:30am. To register or for more information, click here. PDUs will be available for Project Management Professionals (PMPs).

 

Wed. Aug. 24th Washington, DC Andrea Howe
Andrea will be speaking at the Washington DC Chapter of the Project Management Institute (Washington Circle Luncheon) on “Trust and Influence: What Every Successful Project Manager Needs to Know.” 2101 L Street NW, Suite 200, Washington, DC. 11:30am. To register or for more information, click here. PDUs will be available for Project Management Professionals (PMPs).

 

———————————————————————————————–

The Trusted Advisor Mastery Program is about to begin its next group. One seat remains open for this 90 day program that includes 19 e-learning modules, 4 one-on-one coaching calls, 4 group coaching calls, a lively interactive discussion forum readings, tips and exercises.

Here’s what one participant in the last tranche had to say about the Program:

 

“This course works because it is not based upon the newest fly-by-night pet theory, but upon rock solid principles of human nature and social psychology. The ability to engender trust is the one attribute that separates those who succeed in both business and in life. Take this course and you will be well on your way to success in both realms.” (Nils Victor Montan, Of Counsel Danneman Siemsen Bigler & Ipanema Moreira, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

For more information on the next available program, email us at: mastery@trustedavisor.com.