Every day, I’m a little bit blessed by the interest and the thoughtfulness of our readers. Here’s an excerpted email that got me thinking.
I took your free Trust Quotient (TQ) assessment. As I read it, the survey is presented as an evaluation of individual trustworthiness based on, among other things, credentials and one’s certitude in advancing a position based on one’s special knowledge.
To me, that’s not a measure of trustworthiness, but of perceived self-worth as measured by credentials and salesmanship.
I think of trustworthiness as a moral value. I sense the value being measured in this test is not trustworthiness per se, but how deeply we identify with the importance of expertise and credentials, and how well we convince others of our personal trustworthiness by those same tokens.
My Response (partial)
Dear Reader X,
Thanks so much for taking the time to express your thoughts. I suspect you and I are in complete agreement about trustworthiness as a moral virtue.
However, I think you misunderstand the TQ in a couple of ways – regarding the use of the quiz, and regarding the idea of credibility.
Trusting the TQ
The TQ is first and foremost a self-assessment. If the results were used by third parties, for example for hiring or aptitude testing, it would render them useless, because it’s simple to skew the answers so that others would see it in a way the test-taker wanted to be seen.
However, if no one else sees it, then test-takers would only be fooling themselves and destroying a chance to build self-awareness.
Salesmanship Does Not Drive Trust
You suggest that the TQ assessment is “not a measure of trustworthiness, but of perceived self-worth as measured by credentials and salesmanship.”
A look at any recent survey shows trust has gone down. I suspect you might agree, however, that what passes for “salesmanship” has probably gone up. That, I suggest, is prima facie evidence that people perfectly well know the difference.
Does excessive “salesmanship” drive down trust? Of course it does. You can see it in every factor of the Trust Equation, the theoretical model underlying the Trust Quotient.
When you run into a hustler or con artist:
with respect to Credibility―
- you don’t believe his words
- you don’t believe his sincerity
- you doubt his expertise and credentials
with respect to Reliability―
- you want to see outside verification: “Show me the CarFax!”
- you require legal contracts
- you examine track records
with respect to Intimacy―
- you hesitate to trust him with your private information
- you suspect his motives in trying to get close to you
with respect to Self-Orientation―
- you suspect he’s entirely in it for himself
- you see that when he pretends to be focused on you, he’s faking it.
Every part of the Trust Equation works in that case to show precisely how we do NOT trust such a person. This equation doesn’t suggest untrustworthy behavior – on the contrary, it provides the diagnostic tool to describe and identify such behavior.
Trustworthiness and Morals
I personally don’t think you can have morals without relationships – because morals have to do precisely with relationships. (Robinson Crusoe had no need of trust, or ethics – at least until Friday). And just as the least trustworthy people are those who violate relationships by lying, bullying, and trying to hustle people for their own ends, so likewise are the most trustworthy people those who honor the Other in their relationships.
That means those who:
- are honest about what they know and about what they don’t know
- put their knowledge in service to the Other rather than to just looking good
- can keep confidences
- play in the long-run relationships game, not in the short-run transactions game.
Your comments fascinated and engaged me. I thank you for your passion, and hope you’ll forgive my reacting passionately as well.
This particular reader chose to opt out after the free portion of the TQ because she felt it was contrary to her view of trustworthiness and morals. Too bad, because I think if anything, the opposite is probably true. As a result she missed out on some really cool stuff about the TQ:
- The Trust Temperaments—the six psychological categories that describe how you go about being trusted
- Most importantly, very practical, extensive suggestions about how you can improve your trustworthiness.
Have a look for yourself: the full version of the TQ is free, as are the basic results. And if you choose, you can pay us a few bucks extra to get the fuller, more expanded version of the report.