Trust, Honesty and Authenticity

A few months ago, Deborah Nixon posted an interesting question on LinkedIn. She asked: “Is there a difference between authenticity and honesty?”

She got about 35 answers, and they all make for interesting reading. Here’s what I sent in:

Deborah, I’m sure you would agree the two terms cover a lot of territory in common. The trick with these definitional things is not to discover some underlying reality, because there is none; these are conceptual models that help us explain the world. They are good or bad insofar as they help us; so I’d suggest starting there. What’s the most useful way to distinguish the two?

One way might be to say that authenticity is largely passive, and honesty is largely active. When we say someone’s honest, we usually mean they tell the truth, and go out of their way to do it.

Sometimes we also mean that they don’t tell a lie–but that’s far from all the time. You often hear someone way ‘well, he was honest–he didn’t actually tell a lie.’ In such a case, ‘honesty’ just means I didn’t utter an untruth; it’s perfectly consistent with covering up all other kinds of truth. So the casual use of ‘honest’ may rule out sins of commission, but not sins of omission.

That’s why the legal language "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" is required in court; to prevent the ‘honest’ witness from conveniently leaving something out, or snow-jobbing the court with irrelevancies.

Authenticity, on the other hand, I think usually implies a lack of attempt to control another’s perception. It means letting others see us as we are, warts and all. I think it also goes one more step: it means letting everyone see us in a way that’s no different from how anyone else see us: that is, we don’t play favorites in terms of constructing alternative fictions to respective people.

At a corporate level, a company might support a claim of honesty by pointing to the truthfulness of its statements, or the lack of court cases against it. Again, ‘honesty’ conveys a sense of ‘never knowingly told an untruth.’ Whether it includes consciously allowing other people to make incorrect inferences by not telling them something–well, that’s not entirely clear.

Authenticity is a whole ‘nother level. It means not hiding out, opening the door in things that are not excluded through standard rules of privacy, letting the chips fall where they may. Further, I think it usually entails a commitment to be authentic, not just a convenient lifestyle.

Seems that of the two, we might say that authenticity is broader (i.e. it encompasses being honest, but goes beyond that to proscribe sins of commission).

On a practical level, people who strive to be honest often talk of it as a struggle: to resist temptation, to not gossip, to say things that can be embarrassing if they are true.

People who choose to be authentic have, in a way, an easier time of it.  For someone who is authentic, the daily default way of life doesn’t involve decisions or will power: the default is openness, there is no issue of control vs. transparency.

Things are what they are, and there is no threat about them.

What’s trust got to do with it?  To trust a person or a company, honesty is table stakes.  If you suspect they’re lying, trust is stopped dead in its tracks.  But even if they’re honest, that’s nothing compared to authentic.  Think how much more BP, Toyota or Goldman would have been trusted even in the presumably honest statements they made, had they not created an historical pattern of inauthenticity. 

Upcoming Events 8/20/10

There’s been some construction to our calendar; we wanted to call attention to our changes.  Andrea Howe, our Director of Learning Programs, will now be speaking at 2011’s Best of Organizational Development Summit (see below for more information).

Other than that, we hope you take advantage of the weekend!

——

Fri. Aug. 20th         Singapore          Trip Allen

Trip Allen will be speaking on the subject of The Trust Edge: Being a Trusted Advisor at the Singapore Gifts and Stationary Show.  1:00-2:00PM. Venue: Marina Bay Sands Casino and Resort Sands Expo and Convention  Centre, Level 1 Hall C, Singapore.  For more information, please take a look at the official event website.

Tues. Sept. 21st      Global Access          Charles H. Green

Charlie will be a presenter in the 2010 Mediation Business Summit webinar. He’ll talk about how the sales process is a powerful opportunity to create trust and how behaving in the a trustworthy manner during the sales process both creates customer trust and enhances the odds of getting the sale. He’ll outline the principles of Trust-based Selling(r) and discuss how to respond to the Six Toughest Sales Questions. Cost: $100 to attend entire event 8 speakers, via telephone. For more information and to register, visit http://mediationbusinesssummit.com/register/.

Tues-Fri. Sept 21-24th          Chicago          Andrea Howe

Change of plan! Andrea Howe, Director of Learning Programs, will be participating in Linkage Inc’s Best of Organizational Development Summit in 2011, rather than 2010. We’ll remind you closer to the time!
 

Tues. Sept. 28th          Washington, DC          Andrea Howe & Charles H. Green

Interested in learning how to increase trust anywhere, with anyone, anytime? Register now for Trusted Advisor Associates’ signature program,  Being a Trusted Advisor: Walking the Talk, co-led by Andrea Howe and Charles H. Green. All early registration seats are filled;register now before the program sells out!

Golden Oldie No. 4: Zen and the Art of Trusted Advisorship

We’re taking a little break and going off-blog-grid for a few days:

To paraphrase Mark Twain:  Persons attempting to find a motive in this action will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

But to keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum, we shall be reprinting a few from the archives.

Today’s golden oldie is: Zen and the Art of Trusted Advisorship
 

Golden Oldie No.3 : How Can I Get Them To Trust Me?

We’re taking a little break and going off-blog-grid for a few days:

To paraphrase Mark Twain:  Persons attempting to find a motive in this action will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

But to keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum, we shall be reprinting a few from the archives.

Today’s golden oldie is: How Can I Get Them To Trust Me?
 

Golden Oldie No. 2: Closing the Book on Closing

We’re taking a little break and going off-blog-grid for a few days:

To paraphrase Mark Twain:  Persons attempting to find a motive in this action will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

But to keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum, we shall be reprinting a few from the archives.

Today’s golden oldie is: Closing the Book on Closing
 

Golden Oldie No. 1: Operating Transparently

We’re taking a little break and going off-blog-grid for a few days:

To paraphrase Mark Twain:  Persons attempting to find a motive in this action will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

But to keep the withdrawal symptoms to a minimum, we shall be reprinting a few from the archives.

Today’s golden oldie is: Operating Transparently

 

Upcoming Events 8/13/2010

It may be one of the most dreaded days of the year, but you shouldn’t let Friday the 13th sway you. Luck is what you make of it. The number 13 has some fantastic connotations to it. For instance, 13 loaves of bread makes a baker’s dozen, there are 13 cards in a suit, in Jewish tradition a boy or girl becomes bar/bat mitzah respectively at age 13, and in Thailand the traditional Thai New Year falls on the 13th of April.

So, don’t get stuck in a rut today…go out and make your own fortune. We are.

——

Fri. Aug. 20th         Singapore          Trip Allen

Trip Allen will be speaking on the subject of The Trust Edge: Being a Trusted Advisor at the Singapore Gifts and Stationary Show.  1:00-2:00PM. Venue: Marina Bay Sands Casino and Resort Sands Expo and Convention  Centre, Level 1 Hall C, Singapore.  For more information, please take a look at the official event website.

Tues. Sept. 21st      Global Access          Charles H. Green

Charlie will be a presenter in the 2010 Mediation Business Summit webinar. He’ll talk about how the sales process is a powerful opportunity to create trust and how behaving in the a trustworthy manner during the sales process both creates customer trust and enhances the odds of getting the sale. He’ll outline the principles of Trust-based Selling(r) and discuss how to respond to the Six Toughest Sales Questions. Cost: $100 to attend entire event 8 speakers, via telephone. For more information and to register, visit http://mediationbusinesssummit.com/register/.

Tues-Fri. Sept 21-24th          Chicago          Andrea Howe

Andrea Howe, Director of Learning Programs, will be a Learning Team Leader for Linkage Inc’s 2010 Best of Organizational Development Summit and will be leading a session on "Client Relationships: Making Yourself more Trustworthy."

Tues. Sept. 28th          Washington, DC          Andrea Howe & Charles H. Green

Interested in learning how to increase trust anywhere, with anyone, anytime? Register now for Trusted Advisor Associates’ signature program,  Being a Trusted Advisor: Walking the Talk, co-led by Andrea Howe and Charles H. Green. All early registration seats are filled;register now before the program sells out!

The TrustMatters Primer Volume 7

This ebook series is distributed to highlight some of the more provocative and insightful topics and conversations developed on the TrustedAdvisor blog, TrustMatters. It’s been a hot summer in our neck of the woods. The media has also been handling some hot topics, so it’s no surprise that TrustMatters found a theme: how high the heat has gotten on the trust-based relationship between the media and its viewership.

The media not only reports on trust issues; it inevitably influences those discussions, and in turn provokes its own trust issues. In this edition of the Trust Primer, Volume 7, we feature:

Get the Trust Primer volume 7 here

The TrustMatters Primer Volume 7

Greetings, and welcome to this month’s ebook Trust Primer 7. It’s been a record hot summer for many Trusted Advisor and TrustMatters readers; this is our contribution to keeping the heat up, but through dialogue instead of degrees Fahrenheit or Celsius. The theme this time is trust and media. In this edition of the Trust Primer volume 7, we feature:

Get the Trust Primer volume 7 here

A Review of the Forbes Review of Trust

We here at Trusted Advisor Associates earn our daily bread by helping clients to become Trusted Advisors to their clients and to each other, and by helping clients create Trust-based Selling programs.  

That’s our daily work—specific applications of trustworthiness. To do so, it also helps to take a broader look at trust. That’s one role of this blog, Trust Matters.

A similar role is occasionally played by media, who come up with specials on the subject of trust. Such an event was Forbes’ Magazine’s recent issue, The Trust Gap. Nicely edited by Raquel Laneri and Michael Noer, it consists of fully 19 articles, covering a wide range of trust-related topics. I purposely printed them all out, and read them on the plane to Orlando last night uninterrupted.

Turns out it makes for fascinating reading: mainly because it shows once again the amazing range of issues which influence, and are influenced by, the phenomenon of trust. I’d offer you a link to a combined file, but I’d probably run afoul of some copyright law, so you’ll have to do your own mix tape. (Although–it just occurred to me–I’ll bet you could probably buy a print copy of the magazine somewhere!). 

To see if it’s worthwhile for you, here are a few observations from me:

Caveats

Remember this particular collection came from Forbes Magazine. To my mind, that means it’s eclectic, though with a generally capitalist-cum-libertarian bias. Which means you get some creative thinking, though at the price of the occasional slog through such stuff such as:

·    the 1971 departure from the gold standard was the root of all our ills;

·    Obama is a deceiver because he said he’d work with the Republicans, yet passed many bills without a Republican vote. Puh-leeze.

Still, those are a minority.

Some Highlights

James Henry and Lawrence Kotlikoff start by citing Anna Bernasek (see Trust Quotes Series #6 interview with Anna), then go on to suggest that our long, slow, decline of trust in institutions has a simple cause—complexity of government. And, they have a solution. Five of them, actually—one each for taxes, banking, health care, social security, and offshore taxation. They’re sweepingly broad, startlingly commonsense, and—you sense why this is a virtue—simple, while not being ideologically simplistic. 

Joel Kotkin, in Tribes and Trust, makes the case that the decline of social trust and trust in institutions as we’ve come to know them are offset by equal increases in our tribal affiliations. By “tribes,” he doesn’t just mean movements in Asia, and China as a whole, but also economic groups like “investment bankers, techno-geeks or gays.” Though, this trade is not net good.

Harvey Silverglate tells us, in "Trust me: Justice is my Last Name"  that there has been a systematic, growing increase in the abuse of the justice system by Federal Prosecutors. If true, that one’s scary.

I don’t know that I’d agree with Henry Miller on everything , but he’s made a nifty observation by identifying the Type 1 vs. Type 2 risk equation facing regulators; and having done a stint at the FDA, we owe him a good listen. If you’re a regulator, which is worse, he asks: the Type 1 error of approving a disastrous product, or the Type 2 error of not approving a good product. You don’t have to be a self-aggrandizing bureaucrat to see how we’d all respond conservatively in such a situation; and the policy implications of that low trust are large and ugly.

Pollster Zogby notes, in Mending America’s Broken Trust, an interesting anomaly: Republicans trust Wall Street more than Democrats, but are also more likely to think that bankers got a sweetheart deal in the bailout. Which suggests their core belief is more anti-government than pro big business. 

From across the pond, Quentin Letts reminds us gently in Skepticism is More Powerful than Trust that a healthy dose of skepticism—quite a dose, actually—is periodically a very good thing. Furthermore, public shaming is still powerful; witness the official who used public funds to build a duck house, and was followed about town by people flapping their elbows and quacking. He resigned.

On the other hand, Melik Kaylan in Relationships of Mutual Mistrust suggests the risk of shaming can get way, way out of control. Citing a former secret police officer in Rumania, where there is no privacy, the threat of blackmail is a constant presence. In his view, this same sort of risk is posed by Facebook et al, and serves as a chronic negative drip against the development of trust.

Larry Ribstein has a piece I resonate with, called Battling the Mistrust-makers. He points out how, in contrast to just about everyone else’s claim that trust is declining, in certain ways it’s increasing: we are more and more dependent and intertwined with others. But there’s a force battling the kind of trust we need for successful economic cooperation, and that’s what he calls the “mistrust-makers.” He particularly singles out the media, politicians, and the plaintiff bar. In light of the Shirley Sherrod case, and the much ado about nothing case against death benefits payment cases in the insurance industry, his commentary is timely.

To end up on a (partly) upbeat note, Karlyn Bowman, in Distrust: as American as Apple Pie notes that with all the declining numbers about trust, Americans are still positive on their constitutional system of government and core values like the belief in America as the land of opportunity. (There are some data to suggest that last belief is not so well-founded these days, but let’s not quibble about a happy ending note).