As promised in my last posting, here’s a simple self-assessment tool to rate yourself on your general knowledge of the world outside the United States. The fewer you get right, the more American you are, baby!
All have links so you can score yourself immediately (and get educated too—like you care, baby!).
1. Is Sweden East or West of Norway? Answer
2. Can you name the head of State for either Italy or China? Answer
3. Traveling west from Madrid, what country do you first encounter? Answer
4. Which is the most populous world religion—Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism? Answer
5. Where does the US’s biggest city (by population) rank globally? Answer
6. Have you ever heard of Shenzhen? Answer
7. In what country does Juventus compete? (bonus—in what sport?) Answer
8. Is Bangalore in the south or north of India? Answer
9. What language do they speak in Brazil? Answer
10. On what side of Australia (N, E, S, W) is Sydney? Answer
11. Is Ireland part of the United Kingdom? Answer
12. What currency is used in Belgium? Answer
13. Is Japan north or south of Vietnam? Answer
14. In which century was the country of Italy formed as a political entity? Answer
15. In which country is the United Nations headquartered? Answer
16. Which languages are spoken in Switzerland? Answer
17. Where is Catalunia? Answer
18. Where is Bosnia in relation to Poland? Answer
19. In what sport do the All-Blacks compete? Answer
21. Hugo Chavez—union leader, president, or owner of World Cup soccer champions? Answer
22. How many time zones are in Russia? Answer
23. Singapore is a former colony of what country? Answer
24. If you’re in The Hague, what country are you in? Answer
25. What language is spoken in Austria? Answer
OK, score time.
If you got:
20 or more: You are almost certainly a foreigner—absolutely not an American. You probably don’t know the difference between a Hoosier and a hot dog. You couldn’t tell motherhood from apple pie. You’re quite possibly a communist. We don’t like your kind around here. If you don’t like it here, go back to China and speak Japanese like the rest of them. Nuke gay whales for Jesus!
14 to 19: You may technically be an American, but clearly a lib-dem; 3 to 1 says you’re from New York, possibly San Francisco. You probably went to a private school, and you’re probably in favor of letting immigrants stomp all over our right to bear arms.
6 – 13: Wow, where’d you learn all that stuff? I mean, that’s a lot of work. Who’s got that kind of time? Don’t you think you should be spending your time more productively? It’s all well and good to travel internationally—hey I think Cancun rocks, and I even drove into Tijuana once—but you could be going to an MLB game instead, and supporting the US economy by buying American, like that Sharp TV I bought last month.
0 – 5: Congratulations, awright, you’re an American! Travel? Love it. Can you believe their accent in Buffalo? Great steaks in Dallas fer sure. I always liked the AFC teams best. We’re going overseas next summer, maybe Toronto. Or even New Mexico—do they take dollars there? Either that or a cruise to the Bahamas. Go Yew Ess Aye, Number One!