Trusted Advisor » Hazel Thompson

The Dishwasher’s Tale

Hazel Thompson — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:00:00 +0000

During a recent conversation, a friend–General Counsel for a large listed company–mentioned that she does not feel appreciated by her CEO for all the work she does; and that feels disheartening.

How often do we hear this? Is this a gender issue? Do females need to feel workforce appreciation more than males?

A Little Appreciation

One of my biggest lessons in life came 30 years ago. I had time between University semesters. I wanted to travel to the country nearest Ireland, where I was studying, where they didn’t speak English. After getting a bus, boat, and train…I arrived at my destination: Belgium, where Flemish is the first language and French the second. Because of the language barrier, I had to work in a position that did not require customer contact.

Hence my job: dishwasher.

Day in and day out I washed glasses, dishes, pots and pans. I think it was the hardest job I have ever completed. Only one of the waiters would come up to me at the end of a shift to say ‘thank you.’ This simple, genuine ‘thank you’ was so warming to my soul that it would make me feel motivated enough to come back into work the next day. Luckily this was a summer job to fund my holiday travels and I only had to work there for one month. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to have that job long term.

A Question of Perspectives

I walked away with from that job knowing what a huge difference it makes if someone feels appreciated. Ever since, I have tried to make a point of showing my appreciation–from my client, to the person in the office emptying the rubbish bins, to the lady in the bathroom at the airport cleaning the cubicles, to the tram driver when I get off at my stop and I leave via the door beside the driver.

Recently, I have become more aware of how many others do not do this. I asked colleagues in the office why they do not say ‘thank you’ to the person cleaning their rubbish bins. The answer was almost always, “It’s their job, why should I thank to someone for doing their job?” Maybe this is the perspective of the CEO at my friend’s company.

A Little Less Self-orientation

Imagine if we all proactively practiced genuine appreciation–what a wonderful world we would live in. It reminds me of one lesson of the Trust Equation; that as we empathetically reach out to others by giving them a sense of importance, we simultaneously reduce our own self-orientation.

An old Chinese proverb says it all “Flowers leave some of their fragrance on the hand that bestows them.”

When we make people feel good about themselves we elevate ourselves to greatness as well.

This post was written by Hazel Thompson
Hazel Thompson is a Trusted Advisor Associates LLC consultant and founder/Director of Excelerator based in Australia. An experienced Business Development consultant she facilitates Trusted Advisor relationship and Trust-based Selling programs with Trusted Advisor Associates. Read more about Hazel at http://trustedadvisor.com/consultants/hazelthompson/

The Surprising Reason You Lost That Last Sale

Hazel Thompson — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 11:00:53 +0000

How many times do we hear from someone out of the blue and wonder what it is they are after?

Recently I met a CEO from an ASX top 200 (our Aussie version of DJI or FTSE 100) company at a social event. I had gotten to know him through my work with a Big 4 firm. Our conversation turned to the Partner who had completed much work for his company.

I asked, “Have you seen X recently?” He replied in words to the effect of, “I haven’t heard from him for a couple of years. He must be too important to contact me nowadays.”

The Partner in question had since taken on very senior roles within the firm, and even though the comment was meant in jest, I think there was a tone of underlying disappointment. I’m sure they had spent many hours together, probably talking not just about work, but about personal issues as well. Intimacy would have developed over time.

Now in the rear view mirror of time, this CEO may have come to believe that the care shown at the time by the Partner was not authentic, that it was used only as self-interest to gain revenue.

This I know would not have been the case; but certainly may now have become the perception.

This reinforces to me the importance of the simple ‘checking in’ call. It reminds me of Mizner’s, “Always be nice to people on the way up; because you’ll meet the same people on the way down”

The same man said, “A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”

As you may know, the power of listening is a core theme in The Trusted Advisor and Trust based Selling.

At this time of year I remember a story, which at the time surprised me, but which I now completely understand.

A number of years ago I asked a friend what criteria he had used to decide on a service provider for a facility management contract. He said it was a difficult decision; the 3 tender documents he received were similar, the people he met from each firm were all credible and seemed to be people he could work with. The clincher for him was that only one of the tenderers sent him a best wishes card for the holiday. That’s the firm he chose.

As Trust-based Selling suggests, it’s the ‘hard’ credentials that buyers consider necessary conditions and which they use to screen. But it’s the ‘soft’ credentials that are the tie-breakers, the sufficient conditions, that buyers use to make the final selection.

I also find inspiration regarding the importance of personal connection from an odd couple: an 18^th century postmaster, and an early Greek philosopher:

“I love a hand that meets my own grasp that causes some sensation” (Samuel Osgood).

“A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one” (Heraclitus of Ephesus)

Leaving Butter on the Bread

Hazel Thompson — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 14:00:00 +0000

I grew up in country Ireland with the saying ‘leave butter on the bread.’

I have been living in Melbourne for the last 16 years and try and get back to Ireland every year. I visited my parents in the old country a few weeks ago and continually felt a sense of community that gives without expecting anything in return: a neighbour dropping in with a gift of some freshly picked vegetables from her garden; another neighbour dropping in a big pot of homemade vegetable soup; my mother making 12 jars of raspberry jam and giving away 11 jars to neighbours.

All done without any fanfare just with a giving heart.

On this trip I had the great pleasure of dropping into New York to visit the TAA merry gang on my way back to Australia.

I encountered two experiences with big corporate institutions where one left ‘plenty of butter on the bread’ and the other left ‘dry bread’. These incidents have been playing on my mind.

I was walking down 6^th Avenue between 17^th and 19^th West and went into a major bank to withdraw cash from the automatic teller machine (ATM). There were two smartly dressed bank officials standing at the entrance to the ATMs. One enquired if I wanted to withdraw cash and on saying yes I was told they were giving out cash prizes today and to be sure to look out for a flashing message. I thought this is wonderful how lucky am I that I walk into a bank that is giving out cash prizes. I proceeded to insert my card into the machine and at the end of the transaction a flash of $125 came on the screen. The lady who had obviously been watching my machine shouted out, “we have a winner!" I immediately thought how wonderful this bank is, New York is AND I was envisioning a new pair of shoes and said to the bank official "the luck of the Irish." The gentleman asked me to follow him into the main bank so that I could receive my prize and escorted me to a formal office. The first question he asked was “do you make many withdrawals”…"yes" “which bank do you bank with?” “Westpac (Australian Bank) I am just visiting!” “Oh we have a problem. You need to open a bank account here in order to receive your prize, which needs to be deposited into an account, and this will not work, as you are from overseas. I immediately said "so when anyone inserts a bankcard from another bank the machine says that they are a winner?" He could not look me in the eye and said "No, that is not the case." My trust of this financial giant was suddenly Zero. In my opinion this was misleading and deceptive conduct. He walked me out to the front door probably so that I would not tell others waiting to take cash out. I had been left without ‘butter on the bread.’

Fortunately there is a heart-warming story to tell. I spent my first day shopping at many stores including Macy’s. I bought 3 pairs of shoes and was pleased that I received 25% off in their sale. By the end of the week I had to buy an extra suitcase (large) to accommodate all my shopping! I made another journey to Macy’s and found that the store had a 50% off sale. I chose a quality suitcase and was surprised at the counter to learn that as well as the 50% off I would get an extra 10% off as this was the last suitcase of its kind and had been on the floor. How wonderful.

On my way out of the store I could not resist popping once more into the shoe department. I found that the shoes I had purchased 5 days earlier were now at 50% off. Just as a throw away line I said to the assistant that if I had waited and bought the shoes today I could have saved money. She enquired if I had my receipt and if so I could take it to the counter and get the extra 25% off. I did and am happy to report I got the refund. Both transactions within Macy’s went way beyond my expectations. Macy’s left butter on the bread and I will tell many, many people this wonderful story.

The bank, however, I never want to set foot in again.